Here & There

--

My hands trembled.

and he didn’t see.

I didn’t want him to.

that night we said nothing.

in the tucked in sheets of his bed.

the whites and reds fading in the blackness.

and maybe it was the silence, 

that held all those words we couldn’t say,

Because they didn’t fit.

Not in the space between our twisted legs and our soundless promises.

My heart beat way to fast.

because I felt it all, 

Melting to colorless.

And he didn’t feel it,

Splashed amongst our lungs,

Screaming regret and indecision.

He didn’t feel...

all those moments I held on to

just a moment to long.

and this one...

that didn’t fit.

My tears falling.

Colorless.

So he couldn’t see.

I didn’t want him to.

Because they didn’t fit.

--

And you’re surrounded by the tables

filled with faces you will never know

In a place that you go to escape.

and you’ll close your eyes and let the lies

seep into your veins.

And all the empty tables scream your name.

But no one here knows your name.

This is the time when you arrive 

and no one’s here to see you’re gone

this is the time when you collide 

with the time and the place you have known.

--

(D# Minor and the Indecision) 

The strings laugh in perfect tune

Playing His escape from here in perfect harmony

He’s not saying anything 

The notes say it for him

Deep and dark and barren

And dressed in black he plays notes of every color

Purples and blues and grays and blacks

A synchronization of resonance and feeling

And this fingers move to the next glittering chord.

His face hollow as he disappears into the refrain  

He doesn’t tell you what he thinks

But the acoustic sounds whisper them sweet.

A chorus of broken promises in minor chords.

Indecision and D# minor.

Perfect resolution for his poignant heart.

--

The city lights gleam like a promise through the thick mysterious sky filled only with emptiness

The hum of fast cars and night life weaving through the street lights and the alleys

The murmur of the city blazes through the silence of the darkness

The brake lights screaming “stop” in the mixed mess of cars tangled between the painted lines

The building lights burn orange on the blanket of blackness

There are no stars in this sky.  No heaven shed light.

Just the vacancy of what was and the blatant reminder of what now is.

Man Made Attractions.

Just the fake luminescence of the street lights

The stars lost in the eerie glow.

The sky promises no tomorrow.  (And who knows what tomorrow promises)

The street lights burn on. And the jumbled license plate numbers don’t heed.

The city lights gleam like a promise through the thick mysterious sky filled only with emptiness

Somehow we’ve defeated darkness, and we have lost true light.

--

(Letters from My Childhood)

Boys are different than girls I guess. I thought the only difference was girls have long hair and boys like to eat worms and stuff. But that’s not what my teacher said. She said that boys and girls have different parts on their bodies that are special to them. I don’t think she knows what she is talking about. I counted and Dylan has ten fingers just the same as I do. Maybe she was confused.

Dylan is my brother. I guess we can’t be in love and stuff is what my mom said. He wanted to grow up and marry me cuz I’m the bestest sister in the whole world. We like playing hide and seek. He makes me mad cuz he always skips the numbers when he’s counting. Maybe boys are missing the part of their brains that count.

I told Dylan boys are bugs. And girls don’t like bugs. He got sad and cried. That might have been a little lie tho. My mommy said not to lie. I used to go out under the swing set and put bugs in a jar in my room. I took the bestest care of them. They always died. Maybe that’s why boys and girls are different. Every time a girl tries to take care of a boy maybe he dies. I don’t want Dylan to die. Unless he breaks my toys again or keeps missing numbers. It’s so hard to hide that fast. 

--

last night I saw you in my dreams

and it just wasn’t real

last night I held you in my arms

i couldn’t get myself to feel

last night I felt my heart break 

and i didn’t know what to do

last night I wrote it all down 

and it didn’t add up to you

What I’m feelin

when I’m feelin

doesn’t feel right 

tonight tonight

if I’m sober

when its over

it wont feel right 

tonight tonight

--

Last night I wasn’t really sure

so I didn’t pick up the phone

last night I drank to much 

so I walked home alone

last night I let it all go 

and it all came crashing in

last night I wrote it all down

and I didn’t know where to begin